As my ‘to-blog’ list increases in length – more and more, I feel lazy to post anything! It’s like a déjà-vu of my childhood pre-exam days. Make a routine, do the first couple of tasks with the happy face which only you can see in Sesame Street characters; skip the 3rd, do the 4th one with the grumpy feelings same as one of the prisoners of Guantanamo (Wikipedia says the article page of Guantanamo needs ‘clean up’ – coincidence?), then skip 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th task in the time table; by time I reach the 9th ‘to do item’, I am already in the mood of “WTF! Screw all!”, and do another revised routine!
I have a strong believe that only if I invested the ‘routine-making’ and scheduling time in doing the actual stuff – I could have secured a place in an Ivy League school! Well, not like that laziness only has a dark side; on a brighter note, I get exposed to many eye opening knowledge bytes on National Geographic or Discovery Channel just because of my sheer laziness impedes me to find out the remote control so that I can change the channel to MTV!
Sounds familiar? I bet you do, because I am certain that the BigBangBong readers are as lazy and procrastinator as the authors of it. Otherwise how do you explain that someone Googled for “Tinkerbell’s Big Butt” (found at our Blog Stats) and landed up in BBB? Now, I am not amazed by the search pattern here; but I am surprised, how the hell this secret got leaked into the cyberspace?? 😉 The search is on to find out the criminal. If we can’t get a definitive answer soon, we know whom to blame here – that’s must be Khalid Sheikh Mohammad!
This month, Mohammed testified before a closed-door hearing in Guantánamo Bay. According to transcripts of the hearing released by the Pentagon, he said “I was responsible for the 9/11 operation, from A to Z, plus several dozens of other crimes!” The list of Muhammad’s Confession is long (similar to my ’to-blog’ list), and I don’t have the patience to read all of it, but I can guess it looks like this –
I hereby admit and affirm without duress to the following:
1. I was the Operational Director for Sheikh Osama Bin Laden for the organizing, planning, follow-up, and execution of the 9/11 Operation.
4. I was responsible for the Shoe Bomber Operation to down two American airplanes.
6. I was responsible for the bombing of a nightclub in Bali, Indonesia, which was frequented by British and Australian nationals.
30. Who let the dogs out? That was me too!
Yeah, now without doubt, we can blame him for anything!
Anyway, as you can imagine the simplest answer of the rhetoric question – why all the lazy, procrastinators are overcrowding the cyberspace. Because out of all, this is the laziest place we could find! I stopped opening those damn handwritten letters or (snail mails – old school morons!) with the serious excuse of Anthrax threat, my junk mail filter is super strong – it eats almost every emails. Now only I can develop enough amount of ear wax – I can be completely off the grid! Then, I can enjoy the serenity of cyberspace, without the interference of stupid outside real world! I even decided to stop using any capital letters for mails etc, pressing that ‘Shift-Key” is just an added unnecessary step.
But, alas, disruption happens! Like today, I started my ritual of wanton surfing. First I had a dose of cute overload by watching the online videos like Otters Holding Hands or the Baby Polar Bear. These are so sweet; I had to skip the sugar for my 6th cup of coffee, just to avoid hyperglycemia! After that, just when I started digging up and enjoying the cool videos of Wonderbra Malfunction and Banned Commercial on Flavored Condoms, BANG! My friend Asuthosh sent me couple of links via GTalk!
India’s missing girls from Guardian Unlimited
Daughters aren’t wanted in India. So many female foetuses are illegally aborted that baby boys now hugely outnumber baby girls, while a government minister has begged parents to abandon their children rather than kill them. What does this mean for the country’s future…
Witch hunt from Guardian Unlimited
Sona’s mother was murdered and dismembered; Kalo was attacked with a saw and scarred for life. Hundreds of other Indian women are killed or disfigured every year after being branded witches by their neighbours.
My cyberspace procrastinator’s paradise lost! Where I was planning to spend some time thinking about some important issues, like, what to do with Indian cricket team, who killed Bob Woolmer, or the current heart condition of Saif Ali Khan, even who is going to win next American Idol, and suddenly, all these disturbances! Duh!
With a bad taste in mouth, I decided to take an afternoon nap, but… my mind was somewhere else. I thought of counting sheep; but after Tinkerbell wrote the post about that stupid 15% Human Sheep – all the sheep related stuffs raise so many moral questions in mind. Like if you are counting sheep jumping over the fence to fall asleep, just remember – those are 15% human, and naked! Isn’t it kind of a pervert act? At least 15% pervert? Forget about those mutton curries, even if you think about those – you can be declared as 15% cannibal!