What Men Really Want!

Somehow this chain-mail landed on my Gmail, later I found out my little sis Anu is deeply influenced by this. So this post is for you Sis – some reality check, take it with a light heart please! It’s a long list of 33 sermons about guys. My first reaction when I saw this was –

Either this is written by a virgin


The author’s bitter better half was peeping on her screen when she was writing this.

I picked up some classics here and my responses inline –

Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.

Take it the other way around girls. Will you go for the ‘Hunchback of Notre dame’ even if he is clean-shaved and wearing the best cologne and an Armani shirt and talks about post-modernism paintings with a British accent? Get real! Of course guys won’t go for even Marilyn Monroe look alike if the girl got a habit of picking nose in public (yes BASIC present-ability matters) but NO one, guy or a girl actively search for a repulsive looking life partner. Now, beauty is relative – it’s different to different people and changes with time and demography – but that’s a whole other issue!

When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.

Ahem! I don’t know what you call a person (girl or a guy) of that type – but, I have a sweet name for them – Asshole!

Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about .

Yes – along with Upcoming Cricket World Cup, Playstation III, Mallika Sherawat, Next Semester Exam etc. etc. Human mind is multi directional – be that guy or girl! And if someone truly care about someone special – why the hell he will be flirting around?? Plan B – is it?

Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.

Eh! Even if the girl got yellow, un-even and protruding denture with braces?

You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.

If you really start acting with such a piece of misinformation – it won’t take long for the guy to classify you as a nagging girl!! We are NOT deaf – got it? Although we act like one sometimes! 😉

Guys love their moms.

I believe it took 327.5 NASA scientists to figure that out – right? Duh! Or there is a Freudian twist here? Very unlikely, as perceived maturity level of this author makes it very hard for me to believe that she ever heard of Freud!

A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.

Yep! Totally! But only if – the guy is not a smoker or there is no new ‘must-watch’ movie in the horizon or he got the X-Box 360 in his last B’day……etc. etc.

Besides – won’t you prefer a guy who can earn enough to have lunch AND buy roses? Also – Roses are so overrated – try Orchid or Rhododendron please!

You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

Yes – please do that, as I am yet to learn sign language!

Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

What kind of sissy guys are we talking about here? Those who keep a pocket comb (protruding out from back pocket)?

Come on now – I had a record of not washing my jeans for 2 years!

And what do you mean by this? Girls love to do mud wrestling all the time with their best dress on?

If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice … very true.

Rather I will go and talk to a piece of rock – no?

A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

You heard her guys – next time you start liking a girl – go to her and pinch her butt! Surely that will prove the point! And it’s proven that eve-teasers are the greatest Romeo alive on the face of earth!

Girls’ height doesn’t really matter to a guy but her weight does! … very true.

Direct contradiction with the ‘look doesn’t matter’ point – don’t you think so?

You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.

Too bad, so sad – Atheist like me lost the last chance to be a lover boy – completely! Alas!

If a guy says you’re beautiful, that guy likes you.

With that logic – I love Mona Lisa, Pandas, Teddy Bears, Hello Kitty ….list will roll for few rims of paper!!

Sorry for bursting few bubbles here – but as I said – reality check!


4 thoughts on “What Men Really Want!

  1. Can we add that the author is also quite possibly not very physically attractive hence the vendetta against people who look good 😉

    In addition we could also add delusional since even if someone has spread such misinformation to her its beyond me how she has believed it.

  2. To the mortally depressed out there, tough luck. Nature’s a beast. And to the guys out there – beware! The female specimens of the day come armed with such mortifying thoughts – set the record straight from Day One, or live a life of regret!

  3. First of all thank u so much for this post Dada.. I really need ROFL emoticon here..

    IMO – There are few things that I think is very true.. Like the one said The guys may be flirting but in the bed time – they think only about the girl whom they love.. Now you said – Why would the person be flirting with other girls if he likes a girl.. Oh Really – Haven’t you seen any guy flirting with the other girls even after falling in love with a girl?? 😉

    But after all the work and at end of the day – the guy definitely would call the girl wish her Good Night and then get back to his own dreams.. I have seen this happening many times with friends.. or maybe who knows the author is a guy and is self-praising him for this??

    2. If a guy wants to tell a problem – he just wants to listen.. Meaning he doesn’t expect an advice – he just needs you to listen to him and a rock cannot listen.. Listen in sense understand you.. Just maybe to let the frustration away..

    But the reality is – Yes, at the beginning i was influenced but when time passed i realized – If we get the one thing that we look for in our better half, then we do not need to look into such things written just for the sake of forward..

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